At some point, you will have an encounter with grief that will change your life as you know it.  Grieving may be one of the most difficult experiences you ever go through in your life.  Each person deals with their grief in their own way.  There is no specific time frame for the grieving process, as it could take weeks, months, or even years for you to finally come to terms with your grief.  Grief can be completely exhausting and overwhelming for a person.  Understanding the stages of grief can help you cope with your pain and hopefully, with a little time, you will overcome your grief, or at least learn to deal with it.  Grief is like a wound that takes time and special attention in order to heal.

        The main thing for you to remember is that grieving is a normal and healthy response to loss, although it is a very painful process.  Matthew 5:4 says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

        Some steps to overcoming grief are:

1)  Allow yourself to mourn.  Remember that it is fine to fall apart emotionally.  Let those tears fall.  Crying is not a sign of weakness, but instead, it is a healthy part of grieving and can help you process your loss.  Feel free to cry any time you feel like it.  You may feel like you cannot handle it, but you can!  1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he will always be there to help you come through it."

2)  Remember you will not feel like this forever.  Your feelings are normal, but with time, you will begin to feel better.  If your loss was of a loved one, you will feel like they took a part of your with them, but remember that they also left a part of themselves with you!  Recall precious memories and celebrate their life.  Find ways that you can honor their memory.

3)  Take care of yourself.  Grief can cause you to overeat or not eat enough.  It can cause sleeplessness or cause you to want to do nothing but sleep.  Recognize this and strive to maintain a healthy diet, rest, and even get some exercise.  Self-care is crucial during this time.

4)  Talk to others or talk to a grief counselor.  Telling others honestly how you feel and how your loss is affecting you is a major part of the healing process.  Be brutally honest about your feelings when talking to others.  Share about feelings you did not expect to feel, such as anger, guilt, or regret.  Remember that you are not alone, and sharing your feelings can be very therapeutic for you.  

5)  Join a support group.  Reach out to others who are also dealing with loss.  Helping others who are hurting will help yourself.  A face-to-face support group will offer listeners who know exactly what you are going through. They can also offer you encouragement and guidance in working through your grief.  Sharing your grief may tend to lessen your grief.

6)  Surround yourself with people who care about you and have your best interests at heart.  Let them help you with everyday tasks, legal matters, or just sit and watch tv with you.

7)  Be patient and gentle with yourself and your emotions.  Give yourself time to heal.  You may feel like you will never be ok again, but you will.  Remember this will not happen overnight, but it will happen, it just takes time.  Allow yourself to heal at your own pace.

8)  Postpone any big life decisions.  Take your time with any decisions that may follow the loss of your loved one.  Wait on disposing of your loved one's photos, keepsakes or clothing.  Hold off on any large financial decisions and/or large purchases, if possible.  Just remember that while your grief is still fresh, you may not be thinking at your best.  So allow yourself time to adjust to your loss before making important/major decisions.

9)  Draw comfort from the Lord.  Praying, meditating, sharing your heart with God, going to church, and talking to a pastor can help you find comfort in your time of distress and sadness.  Spending time praying and talking to God helps tremendously.  He wants to carry us through our losses and heartaches. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  He will comfort you and give you hope.  Spend time praying and reading God's word to find encouragement.  The gospel of John and the Psalms are good places to start.  Make your relationship with Jesus the center of your life as you work through your loss.

10)  Accept your new reality.  Recognize that going through this loss has changed you.  Things will never be the same.  YOU will never be the same.  Although you will never forget your loss, you will find ways to move forward.  Remember it is not a betrayal to recover from grief; it is a natural part of the grieving process.  

​

Grieving is very hard process.  Remember that it is perfectly ok to get help to get through it.  Talk to your doctor if you feel you may need help coming to terms with your grief.