What is Grief?
Grief is a very common, very strong, intense emotional suffering that is a natural response to a significant loss. This could be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, the ending of a relationship or a divorce, facing a terminal illness, or even the death of a pet. Everyone will suffer grief or mourn a loss at some point or another in their life as loss is a normal part of our human life. Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says, "For everything there is a season....A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."
The pain of grief can feel so overwhelming and sometimes the suffering and sadness can be so deep that you feel like your spirit is crushed and your heart is literally breaking. Grief pain can affect your health to the point where you cannot eat, sleep or even function normally. Your brain may feel foggy like you are in a daze and are just going through the everyday motions. During the grief process, you can feel numb and emotionally paralyzed or disconnected. You may feel like nothing matters anymore. If the loss is a loved one, you may feel anger at either yourself, the person you lost, or even anger at God for taking your loved one from you.
Adjusting to life after the loss of a loved one can be very hard for a person. You may see things daily that remind you of your loved one. Holidays and other special days will never be the same again. The important thing is that you work through your grief. The grieving process takes times and it is not the same for each person. It could take weeks, months or even years for you to heal. Grief comes in waves. You will have highs and lows, good days and bad days. Trying to ignore your pain will not make it go away. It may even make things worse.
There are many stages of grief and there is nothing wrong with grieving. Thankfully, the feelings of grief are usually temporary, and although you will never forget your loss, it eventually becomes easier to live with it. Psalm 30:5 says, "Weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning."
​
For Grief
written by Jon O'Donohue
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
For more on grief and the grieving process, see the articles "The Stages of Grief" and "Overcoming Grief".